Silence: Raising Vibrations Through Recovery

”I no longer want to play the game.”

Arriving home yesterday after a nearly ten-hour unpaid mandatory training session for one of my employers reminded me of how corporate America often leaves people feeling as though they don't have a life outside of work. Although the training is required for my field, it was incredibly time-consuming, and by the time I arrived home, I was mentally exhausted. I was so drained that the plans I had made for the rest of the day never got completed.
It made me reflect on how burnout has become a reality for so many hardworking Americans. Between demanding work schedules and the rising cost of living, many people are forced to work longer hours just to make ends meet. When grandparents who have reached retirement age are still working because they can't afford not to, that speaks volumes about the challenges many people face today.
Although I believe God has called many of us to serve and care for vulnerable populations, the cracks within the systems designed to support them are a conversation of their own. Working in this field has given me a greater understanding of what burnout truly feels like. When caregivers are overwhelmed and unsupported, the people they serve can also be affected, sometimes resulting in neglect or various forms of abuse.
This experience reminded me of something I must continue telling myself: I have to remain a priority in my own life. If I'm not taking the time to refill my own cup, how can I effectively help fill the cups of others?
Thank you for joining me as we discuss these topics and so much more.

”Hidden 💎: Why Supporting Small Businesses Still Matters”

As I'm slowly building Silent Light and Support Co., I find myself appreciating small businesses more than ever. Like any business owner—whether you're running a large corporation or just getting started—you hope your organization is supported by the community. That's one of the reasons I wanted to create this Hidden Gem episode.
Sometimes it's not always about the biggest companies. In my experience, supporting a local business can lead to more personalized customer service and genuine care. It's often the little things that leave the biggest impression.
For example, after having my vehicle serviced, M&M Auto Repair placed a reminder sticker on my windshield for my next oil change. It's a simple gesture, but it's one I appreciated and haven't always experienced at larger auto service centers.
Recently, I needed some work done on my vehicle, so I took it to M&M Auto Repair on North 32nd Street here in the Valley. That's where I met the owner, Alain. During my visits, he has always treated me with kindness, explained the repairs, and worked with me to find fair pricing on parts and labor whenever possible. On more than one occasion, he even helped me save money, which I truly appreciated.
Because it's a smaller shop, the customer service feels much more personal. I never felt like I was just another number. Based on my own experiences, Alain and his team have been honest, professional, and respectful.
Depending on the type of service needed and how many vehicles are ahead of yours, they work efficiently to get you back on the road as quickly as they can. While you wait, they also offer complimentary water, coffee, and snacks. And if your repair takes a little longer, there are several restaurants and shopping options nearby.
If you're looking for quality automotive service and friendly customer care, I'd encourage you to consider giving M&M Auto Repair a try. They've earned my trust through my own experiences, and I wanted to recognize them as one of my Hidden Gems.
The team knows me as Dee, so if you decide to schedule an appointment, feel free to let them know I sent you.

Tonight’s Goal: Temptation Shut Down

Three days ago, what began as a routine shopping trip to Dollar Tree quickly turned into a test of my endurance and sobriety.
As I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed someone searching through the dumpster area. At first glance, I didn't realize it was someone I had previously engaged in drug activity with on several occasions. Once inside the store, I grabbed a shopping cart and prepared to head down one of the aisles. Before I could, that same individual walked in and approached the cashier to ask a question.
The moment I recognized their face, I did everything I could to avoid being seen. Moments later, after they finished speaking with the cashier, I heard a voice call out, "Hey, friend... remember me?"
In that instant, I knew my sobriety was being tested.
Music Disclaimer: Any music featured in this episode is the property of its respective artist(s). I do not own or claim any rights to it. The music is included solely for entertainment and expressive purposes.

”A God of One’s Understanding: Helpful or Harmful?”

I want to take this opportunity to clarify a few things. In this episode, I mentioned that another podcasting platform was the beginning of my podcasting journey when, in fact, that credit belongs to Podbean.
In yesterday's recorded upload, I also forgot to mention another meaningful experience. While checking out at the same Goodwill where my sobriety was nearly put to the test, the cashier noticed my sobriety bracelet. What began as a simple observation quickly opened the door to a meaningful conversation. Looking back, that interaction played a significant role in prompting me to create this episode.
I want to make it clear that I'm not here to condemn 12-step meetings or the individuals who attend them. Many people have found support, healing, and community through those programs. However, when your eyes and ears become open to certain things involving systematic organizations, it can be difficult to ignore what may exist beneath the surface rather than focusing solely on what is visible on top.
I understand that some of the viewpoints expressed in this episode may offend individuals who enjoy attending these groups, and that's okay. We can agree to disagree. My purpose is not to simply go along with the grain. I believe in asking questions, challenging perspectives, and examining what society often accepts as normal—especially when those things could potentially be harmful in certain situations.
If this episode resonates with you, please consider sharing, liking, and commenting. I would sincerely appreciate your support and engagement.
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to any music included in this episode. All rights belong to their respective creators. The music is used for spiritual reflection and entertainment purposes only.

”A Goodwill visit gone wrong but right.”

Yesterday, what was supposed to be a routine trip to Goodwill after getting my car's oil changed turned into a major test of my sobriety.
While browsing through the store, I noticed an individual who appeared to be under the influence of a substance. Throughout my visit, we exchanged conversation on and off, which initially seemed harmless enough. As time went on, however, I noticed this person interacting with someone else who also appeared to be struggling with substance use.
Eventually, the individual I had been speaking with ended up near the same aisle where I was shopping, and that's when the situation began to feel different. What started as casual conversation slowly evolved into a temptation that challenged the progress I have worked so hard to achieve.
This content was recorded yesterday while the experience is still fresh on my mind because I felt it was important to share just how quickly an ordinary day can become a serious test of recovery.
Long story short, if it weren't for the cashier at Goodwill who recognized my sobriety bracelet during checkout, the support of those looking out for me such as the invisible, my faith in God, and the memory of voices such as Regina Wells that have encouraged me to stay on course, I very well could have made a decision that would have cost me my sobriety.
This experience reminded me that temptation often appears when we least expect it. Recovery requires vigilance, discernment, and the willingness to walk away from situations that threaten our peace and progress. Sometimes the greatest victories are the ones no one else sees—the moments when we choose not to give in.
If you're currently struggling, please know that one decision can change the direction of your day. Stay alert, stay grounded, and never underestimate the importance of protecting your recovery.
Please feel free to support this content by commenting, sharing, and passing it along to someone who may need the reminder. Thank you for your support, and take care.
Music Disclaimer:
The music featured in this content is not owned by me. All rights, ownership, and credit belong to the respective artists, musicians, producers, and copyright holders. This music is used for inspirational and entertainment purposes only.

”HIDDEN 💎: IN LOVING MEMORY OF REGINA GAZELLE.”

The Lambda Center here in Phoenix often hosts guest speakers on special occasions and recovery-related events. On one particular evening, I decided to attend for fellowship and to hear the story of the speaker who had been invited to share. As I walked in and found a seat, I had no idea that the beautifully dressed woman sitting in the front row would soon be introduced as that evening's speaker. That woman was Regina. It's no secret that, like myself, Regina struggled with addiction. Yet she chose to use her experiences to help others who were still fighting for their sobriety. Whether I was in recovery or struggling with relapse at the time, I'm not entirely sure. What I do know is that I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to hear her speak and eventually form a connection with her that extended beyond the walls of the Lambda Center. When Regina's name was called and she stepped forward to share her story, I was immediately captivated by her elegance, confidence, and presence. Over the years, I had heard many people tell their stories at Lambda, but hearing one from the perspective of an African American woman resonated with me in a unique way. Addiction affects people from all walks of life, yet each person's experience is shaped by their own background, identity, and circumstances. Listening to Regina felt familiar and deeply personal because parts of her story reflected pieces of my own journey. Her presentation took us through a range of emotions—from laughter and sarcasm to moments that brought many of us to tears. By the time she finished speaking, I knew I wanted to thank her personally for sharing so openly and honestly. After the meeting ended, we spent some time talking before eventually exchanging phone numbers. I told her it would be an honor to interview her on my podcast one day. Unfortunately, that opportunity never came to pass. Instead, we maintained a connection through social media, occasionally commenting on one another's posts and supporting each other from afar. During a recent meditation, I found myself praying for Regina and asking God to have mercy upon her soul. She was, and continues to be, a vessel through which hope, healing, and inspiration were shared with others—especially those still battling addiction. One of my regrets is that I never developed a deeper personal friendship with her. Yet I find comfort in believing that relationships do not end simply because someone's physical presence is gone. The impact they leave behind continues to live on in the hearts of those they touched. Regina, thank you for inspiring me to continue sharing my own story. Your courage that night at Lambda left a lasting impression on me. You were a gift not only to the LGBTQ+ community but to people from all walks of life. Your voice, your spirit, and your willingness to be vulnerable helped others feel less alone. Continue shining as brightly in spirit as you did here on Earth. You will be deeply missed. Though my dream of interviewing you never became reality, I am grateful that our paths crossed when they did. May you rest peacefully in God's loving embrace. My heartfelt condolences go out to your family, friends, and all those whose lives were blessed by your presence. With love and gratitude, Silence
 
 
Music Disclaimer: The music featured in this episode is used for inspirational and entertainment purposes only. I do not own the rights to the music, and all rights remain the property of their respective owners.

”HIDDEN GEM: MUSTARD SEED OF FAITH!”

While taking inventory of my YouTube platform and deleting old posts, I came across a powerful reminder of just how brutal addiction can be.
About two years ago, I worked as a housekeeper at the Hilton Phoenix Airport here in the Valley. During that period, I was also deeply trapped in my addiction. There were many days when I arrived at work under the influence. As a result of my substance abuse, my skin would break out severely, especially across my forehead.
Working in a four-star hotel surrounded by bright lighting certainly didn't help. During those years, all I wanted to do was hide from the world like a vampire and remain in complete darkness. Instead, I was expected to interact with managers, coworkers, and hotel guests on a daily basis. Fulfilling guest requests and working in close proximity to others often left me feeling exposed and uncomfortable.
One thing that helped me navigate that difficult chapter was the makeup experience I had developed earlier in life while living as a transgender woman. Those skills, along with hairstyles that covered my forehead, helped conceal many of the wounds caused by the repetitive cycle of addiction and self-destruction.
In this recording, I also share a recent experience involving a test that could have easily led me back into relapse. Recognizing what was taking place, I intentionally put protective barriers in place and remained mindful of the situation. By choosing silence, maintaining healthy boundaries, and staying focused on my recovery, I was able to overcome the temptation and remain sober for another day.
What makes this experience even more significant is that it occurred during a weekend—a time when many people in recovery find themselves most vulnerable to relapse. Since recording this episode, I have continued to move forward in my sobriety journey and am now well beyond the sobriety date mentioned in the recording.
This is exactly why sharing these small mustard seeds of faith and hope is so important to me. Far too many people are still struggling in silence. Far too many lives are being lost to addiction. If sharing my story helps even one person choose recovery over relapse, then every difficult chapter of my journey has served a purpose.
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to any music featured in this episode. All rights belong to the respective artist(s) and copyright holder(s).
I truly appreciate your support through your likes, comments, shares, and continued encouragement. Happy sober living, and much love to each of you.

”When you see through the surface.”

Many helping professionals enter this field with a genuine desire to serve others, yet the reality of chronic understaffing, overwhelming caseloads, limited resources, and constant exposure to crisis can leave workers frustrated, compassion fatigued, burned out, and emotionally exhausted. Over time, this level of stress can place tremendous strain on the nervous system and leave even dedicated staff questioning whether they can continue in their roles.
Unfortunately, that stress does not remain isolated. It can affect workplace culture, relationships among staff, and ultimately the quality of care provided to those who depend on these services. While many professionals are deeply committed to helping others, there are also individuals who may have entered the field for reasons that have little to do with service and support.
One of the most eye-opening aspects of my own journey has been recognizing behavioral patterns that mirror the very struggles many clients and patients face. As a person in recovery, I have become increasingly aware of how addiction, unresolved trauma, burnout, and unhealthy coping mechanisms can impact not only those receiving services, but sometimes those providing them as well.
The more I observe these realities, the more I understand how neglect, mistreatment, and various forms of abuse can develop within systems that are stretched beyond their limits. This does not excuse harmful behavior, but it does highlight the importance of accountability, proper support, adequate staffing, and healthy workplace environments.
My goal is not to judge or condemn anyone. Rather, it is to remain aware of what is happening around me, continue focusing on my own recovery, and do my best to be part of the solution rather than contributing to the problem. The deeper I look beneath the surface, the more I realize that healing is needed not only for those receiving care, but often for those providing it as well. Thank you to everyone supporting this episode. Your downloads, listens, and shares are truly appreciated.
Please note that any music included in this episode is not owned by me. All rights and credit belong to the respective artist(s), creator(s), and copyright holder(s).